Yesterday I almost peed my pants.
Sometimes it can happen quite frequently, another sad sign of growing old I am assuming. This time it was because 1 I had to pee really bad and didn't want to go 2. I was laughing 3. I was crying 4. all of the above.
When you see a sign that reads 'PUMPKIN PATCH' please assume pumpkins ARE IN FACT FOR SALE.
When you see a sign that says 'FREE ADMISSION' please assume ADMISSION IS FREE.
When you bring your lot of 25 moms and your kids are puking on the ground and screaming, PLEASE CLEAN YOUR OWN KIDS PUKE AND DO NOT LEAVE DIRTY DIAPERS IN THE PARKING LOT.
AND BUY A DAMN PUMPKIN!
When you see a sign on the side of a box labeled dragon toes 2 for $1, PLEASE ASSUME THEY ARE NOT REAL DRAGON TOES. Alas, dragons do not exist, nor do unicorns or gnomes (well gnomes do).
Then after asking if they are real dragon toes, don't say 'Well this may be a stupid question but...'
guess what? The previous question before whatever you are about to say, pretty much summed it up gal.
Dragons don't exist. Pumpkins are for sale. Admission is free. The parking lot is not a dumpster. Don't come enjoy everything for free only to go somewhere else to buy a pumpkin and please, please do NOT ever mention that little farm in Corrales or the one over the mountains.
what farm over the mountains?
exactly.
1 comment:
Totally hilarious! Maybe one of your best yet. LOVE it. :)
Oh, what time do you close?
Post a Comment