diarrhea, cha, cha, cha

I can't believe I am going to say this but...I am cold! I love it!

Let's talk about what happens when your hairless kitty eats curling ribbon.

even though all the curling ribbon is hidden, he finds a big enough piece somewhere to chew on, because apparently, curling ribbon is delicious. Well after a few hours, he doesn't feel so good. He pukes and pukes but nothing comes out.

The next morning while you are making coffee, you hear him digging in his crap box. He digs, and digs, and digs. Then you hear silence. Because you don't even know he ate the damn ribbon, that's how stealth he is.

Then 2 minutes later you go to remind your 7 year old for the 25th time that morning to get dressed and NOW, and then you see it. Your hairless cat sitting on her bed covered in diarrhea. His own. And he's okay with it. It's all over his tail and his feet and his stomach and his legs and his chest. You silently panic. You hobble as fast as you can over to the bed and grab him. He turns and clings to you, smearing and hugging diarrhea all over you. You gag. You then nicely yell at your 7 year to please remove her blanket off the bed and put it in the washer-NOW.

You put the cat in the bathroom sink and you wash him, all you have is soft soap, but it works. He's angry, he's smelly, he's clean.

He runs off and hides. You want to throw up. Your husband is watching the entire time wondering what the hell is going on. THANKS FOR NOTHING.

You remove your clean hoodie, the last one in the closet mind you! You wash your hands and go to laundry room. You discover the pile of diarrhea with pretty pink curling ribbon sticking out. all.over.the.floor.


You turn around and make a full pot of coffee..

The end.